This time, you're not surprised
Although you think they'd go hand and hand
(Twin thoughts in a twisted mind)
"I want to die"
come much later than
"I hate myself"
Because somehow you can hate yourself,
But still want to live
You still want to get better
Now, you're not even sure you hate yourself
You just want to stop existing
I want to die
Just something, anything, to stop the pain
You don't exactly crave death...
You crave nonexistence
Nothingness
Black.
Empty.
Nothing.
You just want to pass out
Anything to escape for a little while
So why not...
A bottle of pills?
Escape for a long while
Hair dryer in the bathtub?
Carried out on gentle waves of steam
You just want to stop thinking
Anythinganythinganythinganything
to stop the thoughts
Never ending has taken on a whole new meaning
Because truly, it's your thoughts that are limitless
I want to die
You just want to stop thinking, really
So you sleep a lot
That's the first step
You always want to be sleeping
But suddenly it's nearly impossible to sleep
So you're tired all the time
But you still can't stop thinking
I want to die
Anything to escape
Dear god, you just want it all to stop
All the heartache, the disappointments
Hopes raised and dropped again
People who always let you down
Always letting yourself down
Everyone and everything is hopeless
We're all so ****** up
There's no point in even trying anymore
And your life seems so pointless
You're not going anywhere
Doing anything
Meeting anyone
You're bored with everything
Nothing sounds exciting anymore
You used to have these dreams, you know?
You used to feel
You used to feel everything
You used to have these crazy hopes and desires and dreams
Moving to New York, going to school, living on your own
You were such a day-dreamer
You had so much hope
What happened?
...
You don't really dream anymore
You just have nightmares
So you're either panicked&anxious;&tense;&sweating;
(With nerves shot and hands shaking)
Or your listless&bored;&lifeless;&waiting;
(With dead eyes and a fake smile)
There's nothing to look forward to
You see your future, and you see a blank
You've lost hope
I want to die
And man, it's not like you want to make anyone sad
You know your mom would cry
But it's really hard to live a life
where all you want to do is cry
And more than that;
it's really hard to live a life
when you already feel like your dying