they did not tell me
i would feel like this.

they did not tell me
there would be days where
getting out of bed would be a strenuous task.

they did not tell me
there would be times where the feeling
of loneliness would embrace me so tightly,
i would not be able to breathe.  

they did not tell me
i would spend evenings alone in my room,
clinging to the seat of my chair, sobbing endlessly.

instead,
they told me i would be happy.
they told me life was a grand adventure, waiting to be explored.
they told me it would be easy.

they lied.