i want to rip my eyes out
i want to scrape off all of my freckles
one by one
then all of my skin
i want to grab and stretch it till it rips off
i want to take that part in your throat
where you feel like you're gonna cry
out with both of my hands.
i want to twist my head off and stomp
it into the ground.
i want to stab into my chest and
rummage through all of the useless body parts
until i get to my decaying heart so i can
take it out and cut it into one hundred tiny pieces
and feed it to a snake like the boy who broke it.
i want to hit the side of my head hard enough
until a hole forms and my brain falls out onto
a pan so i can fry it.
i want to rip myself apart from
every angle
but be alive for it.
i want this mental pain
to be physical -
to be
seen.