i imagine you golden
sun always behind you
peaks of light through the curve
of your neck, the
outlines of your jaw

i imagine you found
like anchor shaped shoulders
swimming the pacific
draped with blonde ribbons
and confetti dusk

i imagine pages of calender
flipped and turned
never spoken in familiar tones
our names never heard
only a simple thought before the bus

how did we get here?
backs facing from opposite sides of the bench
a reflex to turn my head away when you look at me
like a buried sin, a mumbled confession
half smiling to salvation

the moon floating on indigo sky
the way I would rest on your chest
specs of childhood and uncertainty
shaping into dying stars and serenity
a volcano eruption of broken promises
and we rest, like we have already been turned
to stone
we rest, like we have died before and again
we rest, like we already met in our next lives
i imagine this is what nirvana feels like

but in this truth,
you are not here, empty in the marks of november
pages left blank in the corners i folded to remember
your name

it is not fair to call you a
stranger
but it is not fair to call you
anything more