I hated
being your therapist

Bound by expectations and theory
that tells me what to say and how to say it
When this real person
Was sitting
Three feet across from me
Standing on her last leg

I wanted to tell you what I saw in you
not what the theory said
I wanted to tell you
that your future was bright
Your smile could light up an entire room
Your passion and creativity could lead you
From these depths to your success
If only
Just a little
You could believe in yourself
Your talent
And your smile

Instead
I watched as you struggled
And I struggled myself
To help you see
In the most objective light possible
Your own beauty
And how you could change your thinking

But little by little
Those people hurt you
And you felt your trust
Slip
Away

Until you no longer wanted to live
Until
You told me
What you would do

I called for help
To someone I could trust with my own life
We tried to save yours
I never
Saw
You
Again

You are alive
And hopefully well

But how
I
wish
I had been your friend
And not your therapist