I press the scalding hot washcloth against my face while it's still soaking wet and inhale. This is what it feels like to drown. I think about your eyes, how they are so dark, like solar eclipses and I think about how your nails leave crescent moons in my heart. This is what it feels like to fear. In a dream, your weight is resting on my neck and you tell me to tell you that I love you, but the minute I open my mouth, my throat is filled with butterflies and my trachea snaps. This is what it feels like to love. I take off my black lacquer polish and I can't hide the blood under my fingernails anymore. This is what it feels like to know. Your mouth touches my face again and again and I cannot break away to take a breath and I am overtaken by the sweetest darkness. This is what it feels like to die. This is what it feels like to drown. I am drowning drowning drowning drowning drowning drowning dro