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Nov 2013
Here's what's going to happen:
I'm going to kick. I'm going to scream. I'm going to hate you. I'm going to want you to cave and let me near you. I'm going to cry because you know I can't be near you, because I have Lost My Way; and I will hate you. I will fight. I will yell. I will be so stubborn, you'll wonder who this person even is. It is of utmost importance though, that you keep your distance. Be with me, but keep it during daylight hours. Don't let me descend into myself, I will stay there if you let me. I will wallow, and I will turn into a self-loathing human and I will sink deeper into depression. And I will do nothing to fight it. I will not want this. I will be bitter. I will be angry.

But please do not leave me. Talk to me. I will return to the person you love, and I will be back very shortly. I need to get a grip on my person as a whole, and I need to not be based on you. You are a human, separate from me. I want to spend my life with you, not because of you. You mean so much to me, and I hate putting you through the depressing hell I am raising. You deserve better.

Seriously. I hate that I do this thing, where I become an accessory of my own merit. I turn myself into your pet, your porcelain doll; you can do as you please to me, and I will not fight back. I will turn into a soulless human, and I will be useless. You deserve better.

Again, I wish I knew how to tell you this with my own mouth. I wish I knew how to deal with this on my own. But all reality is, I need you. I need you more than I need sleep. I just don't want to have to depend on you to be happy. Does this make sense? I'm sorry. I may be rambling again. Perhaps you'll be able to make sense of it. I don't know.
This is my cry for help, and I am desperate
Neboni Lalighmind
Written by
Neboni Lalighmind  Texas
(Texas)   
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     Sarah, Taylor, ---, N, Emma and 3 others
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