I swear
           I've never been okay with myself
     grown up
always needing someone else --
like I didn't spend
                 enough time
            tending to my soul
(even when I'll be all alone
                                                                forever)

and it hurts in my bones
                   because no one's
            home
if I don't have a
                          validating
                                 friend

but I don't want to run
             to the guy who wants the pictures
       I don't want to run
             to the people who have no problems
                        kicking me to the curb
     when all I wanna do is help them

      I don't want to run
           to the outside

               the outside
   is where the hurt comes
                                                      in
            and it
                     cuts deep
     because there's no one home
          and the lonely corners
  are screaming
                     for a hand
          and I am wondering
    how many more mornings
                I will wake up
            clutching my own

           until I realize
           I cannot find what I need
           on the outside...

    maybe I'm starting to realize
              
                    the answer  
                 must be within