fragment of my life have shaped my persona moments like sitting in the rain with my sister till my destructive parents stopped verbally abusing each other or when my temper got so bad i actually hit my sister, my blood, my savior never again will i lay hands on a person whose heart i occupy moments like when my childhood turned to reality and my heart was mutilated by the devil on my shoulder or when post traumatic stress disorder nearly killed my young liver with a liter of *****
times i spent, years i wasted on people who never wanted to understand me to see me, and to care the way i had moments like when my mom said she wanted to **** herself and her kissing my forehead as she left the next morning or seeing my dad throw himself away drown in a bottle of liquor for too long the weeks i spent letting self sustained emotions make my face hot and soak my pillow with tears nights where the thunder shook my nerves and nightmares prevented my sleep or nights when the night was too dark that only the shine of blood my skin was concealing made my heart calm and my skin numb and my mind blank the blade was my savior, my sanity
i look back on these moment knowing ill never forget them. having spent years ******* up so horribly and hurting not only myself but people i care about and gathering my feelings and learning painful lessons to be able to say i finally know what i want with my time and i know how i want to spend my days and i'm starting to figure out how i work, who i am and how to curtail my destructive feelings and moderate my impulsive actions.
never neglect what you cant forget, everything is thought for a reason.