to younger me

i wish i could tell you it gets better
i wish i could tell you that we come out of our shell
that we start being a good person
that the numbness goes away
but we get friends
but we're more lost than ever
maybe someday in twenty years
we'll feel okay
maybe someday in twenty years
we won't be at all


to older me

are we still there?
do we feel better yet?
has it finally stopped?
do we get meds?
do we get to transition?
(god i want estrogen)
are we alone yet?
i hope not.
do we hurt more?
do we hurt others?
do we still have a good fashion sense?
or do you think of me as cringey and weird?
are we okay yet?
do we deserve to be?