is it OK to want that?
I ask myself that much too much
desires I'm afraid to touch
I keep them at a distance
I lock them up
with chains of fear
I cannot look at that
not here
not now
not I
that is not me
I look away
I cannot see
I cannot be
this person that I fear and hate
I can't relate
to all the parts of me
that I dissociate from
hide away from
all the things I should not be
that make me feel
afraid of me
I cast away
but where I turn
away from me
I cast my shadow