AS evil attempts to smother me in it's embrace, just as I slip right out of it's grasp the pain and the sorrow Im feel I don't show I mask  Hiding myself in then sinister dark that has since became a part of my very heart. I am but a vessel that's been broken I am just an empty hull all these twisted thoughts rattle around loudly inside of my skull. I have gone to a pretty place now where then flowers grow. looking for a graveyard in which I can bury my cold dark dead soul, Out of all the horrors I have ever imagined, the worst one is at least to me it seems salvation maybe absent
Does that mean that I am stuck here in this God forsaken place constantly falling so far from this side of my saving grace. I am just as cold as I am empty inside It's almost like a vital part of me has already died. Am I to be crushed underneath this weight of this pending doom or will I find a way to escape from this hell on earth soon. I am a sinner but I am not faithless yet I am still chased by these ghosts that are faceless. demons seem to be lurking in the shadows that are just as still as they are black
waiting for just the right moment to jump out and attack
Instead of trying to save me from these demons maybe someone could possibly save myself from me or at least end my suffering, stopping my pain and my misery.
I say what I mean just I mean what I say not that it matters no one listens to me anyway
I am always standing here screaming into the wind to no avail so into these worlds that are somehow parallel I tripped and fell now Im am blindly strolling in places I have never before been Hoping that somewhere maybe some good sameriatain will take me in. I have always been one to force myself to fit in places where I knew that I didn't belong At this very crossroad I have been standing for so **** long. For these restless and sleepless nights I feel I have already paid the price even with the cost so steep forever harboring all these **** secrets that I am forced to keep
i have better things to do than to sit here contemplating my own demise It's sad when my own reflection in the mirror is not one that I reconize  
I am but a lost soul that wandering about aimlessly looking for something that I seriously doubt I will ever find as I continue my journey outside the parameters of my own **** mind, I am damaged I am broken I am incomplete I am always trying my best to render this monster in me obsolete bombarded by the faces and images that seems like they just were not meant to last Time has a Way of passing by me ever so fast. Until time for me to disappear I will be sitting here blowing clouds so thick as strong I tend to smoke
pretending that I can see this life as anything more than a sick and twisted joke.
with every single breath that I take I am possibly an little bit closer to my death wonder just how many breaths that I have left.
not that it matters much for once I am dead and gone as in from this earth I did perish maybe I will finally awake from this horrible dream that is so nightmarish.

Now I lay me down to **** sleep I can sleep when I am dead should've turned the dope back into Sudafed for I may not be your foe but my friend I am fiend  I don't really know if I can be redeemed  the air has been perfumed with the sent of *** and sweat and the lingering dread over things that have not actually happened yet. I find very little comfort in rocking this **** bowl especially while spiraling so fast completely out of control. I am spitting out the pieces of my broken luck but dont get **** twisted because still in do not give a flying ****. it is what it is and it is  not what its not I hope all the dismal and dark times can somehow be forgot.  now in then tainted moonlight that shines brightly in these windows clear is anyone that is suppose to be there right now even really here. so I will climb high to get myself higher just as I have always done and will continue to do in the days to come. taking every hit straight to my head that gets so loud  hiding myself  away from the light of day in a shadow in a cloud. I am the very monster that is difficult to conquer because I am the one onen the beast accidently did conjure, So in this final episode the last crusade I pray the Lord keeps my soul before my enemies lay me in my shallow grave