yes I did it
I messaged him
I can tell
he's mad at me
I'm not upset that he hates me
I'm upset I ruined it
a friendship that could've lasted
I mourn our full conversations
and our inside jokes
I mourn the loss of what could have lasted longer than it did
I fear I look for him in every person I meet
hoping to find someone like him
but its useless
there will never be another
just like him