i ripped out all my stitches
and i bled on your doorstep
i wanted to prove to you that i have never been coward
that i am nothing less than what everyone expected
that i can live up to embellished standards
that i don't need fixing
that i don't cry in my sleep
that i don't look over my shoulder at least three times before i smoke a cigarette
that i am not becoming a creature of habit more and more every ******* day
that i wish i had no mirrors around here

note from the author:
i have always loathed myself
i can't stand who i am anymore
i am tired of changing
but i need to
i am tired of hospitals
and neutral colors
and pills
and names that i'll forget
i am tired of pretending to be a *******
and not even living up to that

you know i'm sorry
and you know i will be
for a long ******* time

i hope you know who you are
because i've been losing a lot of faith in myself lately
but i hope you know i wrote this to make myself feel better
because no one's hearing me

i hope you know exactly who i am