Not that it comes as a surprise, but you made your way into my dreams again. I was in the most silent collection of noises and numbers of people walking the halls of this maze of a party. I was only holding a bottle for company, because I was okay, but I was lonely, and there's something about making my world spin while my world is spinning that feels like you're still around. Mid-turn I ran into a body, and she wrapped me up in flattery and her arms, and this was a party and I'm supposed to move on, so I took the bait. You saw me from another room while sitting on the lap of your new found affection, and in a few seconds time you ran, and for a few seconds I pretended I wasn't going to chase you. When I found you, you were arms-wrapped around him from behind and when you turned to me, it wasn't you. I had lost you. I watched the carpet walking away and in an open doorway, there you were. Your head was down and the entire room was stained with thoughts of me, so it only felt right to step inside. Even if it wasn't, I would've anyway. You sat on a chair in the middle of a room with your head so far down that you didn't see me coming, and kneeling in front of you I took my first finger to lift your chin. Like a trap, your arms collapsed around me and mine around you. I wanted you to know that I know you miss me, and I, you. And I wanted you to know that it's okay, because I will always love you, and it's a pleasure to have my heart broken by you. Then I woke, and my first thought was that I wish I was with you, because after dreams like these I'd wake up and kiss you hard enough to make you smile, but soft enough to keep you sleeping. And I miss the way your ceiling looked above your bed, this one is to high. Even if it wasn't, it's still not yours.
In this dream I held you because you were sorry that I was hurting, and you were sad because you missed me, and I told you it was okay, because it is. If your soul ever wakes up and your heart drops because they're wondering where I've gone, remember that I'm always yours. I'll be waiting in the park, on the bench that we'd watch the love of our life run and play as if the busy world around her didn't exist. I'll hold your hand and I'll carry her home asleep on my shoulder.Β Β That's where I know she's safe, and my hand is where you'll know I love you.