I’m afraid of love
because love burned me long ago
My cousin was an angel
soft and dreamy as spring time twilight
her beautiful inner light draped in mystical moonbeams
but it was caught in jealous hands
a dark love twisted and thorned
a poison tainting good hearts behind a cars closed doors
stealing her very breath
before my own wings had a chance to spread

a heartbreak carved deep into my family’s soul
where fathers drowned in bottles
and sorrow moved itself through the air like cigarette smoke
I was just a little girl
in the aftermath.. I became her ghost
walking through a garden of lost roses
where the wind carried the weight of ******
and grief wrapped cold around my skin and heart
and I learned how to take shots in the dark

No lullaby could warm me
no hand could hold back the pain
a child learning too soon
that love can burn like gasoline and drown you like May rain
it can even can **** with a whispered call
and leave you trembling
afraid to ever open your heart at all

but sometimes, when the night falls upon me slow
I hear her voice
a haunting melody of freedom and fire
She says
"Rise, wild heart, don’t let my darkness bind you
you’re a soldier queens flame that my killer can’t ever steal
though love has burned and my shadow has claimed you
there’s a fire inside you so real.. you are free to let go of my tragedy, but I will always be with you still."