You. You were, are & will be my "first" to alot of things. I love you & you love me more. But I loved you in pieces and you insisted in loving me whole. You frightened me. The idea of you insisting in fixing me made me want to crawl away into the narrowest corner to never be heard from. You taped my wounds but knew you'd leave cracks. It wasn't enough. You glued my parts but nothing holds on forever. Once you began to sew, I pushed away. That meant safety. Assurance. That meant being fixed & I did not want that in fear the scar would grow cover & soon fade & I would be forced to forget about my struggles and pain. I did not want to feel safe. I did not want assurance of your love. I wanted to live on the edge & always know you "chose" to love me all over again, every single morning. I wanted you to love me & all my broken parts but maybe just one at a time.