He invited me to come see his play tonight. It should have been lovely.
Instead I pulled over on the side of the highway afterwards to sob.
His parents were all there. All four of them.
One waved sheepishly, one looked on disapproving and another was surprised.
The last didn't look at all.
I cannot say I blame them. I did break up with him for a second time two months ago.
I don't know why I am so fickle.
Something must be wrong with me.
This was a mistake though. I will not go anymore. I will not show anymore.
I subject myself to sadness like this because due to my guilt I feel...
I deserve it.
He messaged me after the show to find me and say hello.
I had already hidden behind the crowd and ran out the back door to my car.
After holding everything in for a while,
tonight on pacific coast highway under the glimmering street lights,
with the ocean lapping up the tide,
in my car on the side of the road,
I let go.