it's harsh: but i think i should reread some of
the books i already read
on my priority list is the entire
Joyce oeuvre or at least one: Ulysses
because: i literally missed the part in the bog
on the ******* with the spanked monkey
or whatever it was
but i truly can't remember that stream of consciousness
which is basically cognitive diarhoea:
ah! mr dyslexic fantastic:
i'll let that slide because it's not English
(the word)
and the etymology stretches back toward ancient
Greece and
predates all the sensibilities of Christian
spelling
like Hail and Tottenham Hale:
you know for Lee and Lea Bridge...
but that last shift was terrible...
surely women shouldn't be put in the position
of response of dealing with drunkards
at a concert
me? i drink and try to go back to when i went
mad aged 21
i simply can't replicate the same madness...
now i'm cleaning the bathroom in my house
and i'm using bleach and raw hand
energy i think of insolence
competence
incompetence and laziness and the druids
at Stonehenge
and all that ancient "stuff" whenever i feel like
i am the president of the united states
and i'm about to do Iran an **** Blast...
because the story goes
and the Nazis didn't know it
but us Western Slavs when we married
the inlet the last inlet of paganism in Europe:
Lithuania we sort of delved into the history
and apparently we descended from
the Aryan tribe that migrated to the Vistula
known as the Sarmatian:
closer hear to India:
but please don't **** around with my ancestry
i get that part:
Iran is sort of my far removed homeland
i know what the Darwinian (s) say
about everyone in the same boat from Africa
but there are clear historical cut off points
where you get categories and Kantian categorical
imperatives:
for the sake of an argument
the Americans came from England... ok
and the English came from: Saxony
and the Celts are a dwindle
like it's Welsh and Irish...
but we... the historical Aryans
see i looked at the map and it looked funny
that the Huns and the Goths moved a great
distance
while the Poles were represented by:
magic sprout:
like they didn't move anywhere:
just sat there in the fields like docile Jamaican reggae
and were chill...
i swear most of us came from Iran and settled
in Europe... just saying: just saying...
because the Germans can't claim being Aryan:
but i can:
and the worst kind apparently:
the Lost tribe or something
about being a Jew-Lover
since what?
                          but of all the places
Saudi
    and there was Rumi and when Islam was
grand but then something happened...
o.k. o.k. listen...
the operation was simple:
Whitehall Street...
it was me and 5 guys and i was on the megaphone
getting really vocal
and the crowd dispersed
or didn't: loitered
but there was no extra fencing the street
was open so there was no bottleneck
people didn't feel caged:
******* optics and management:
all they see is in schematics and in their heads
that's like playing chess:
crowd control is not chess
it's spontaneous combustion...
i don't give a shift if i get a "well done"
or a "great job" on the radio:
i just didn't need that stress...
everything was under control when i was left
at it: but then the incompetence kicks in
because someone is playing god on a sabbath
when god dished out all the gifts for mankind
to catch up to him:
like Huxley and the cactus
or... Jesus and the wine...
but of course in church they either give you a sip
or in the churches of America they
give you diabetic: grape juice suckle...
**** me! i want to transcend: give me the good stuff!
but it's so grr... arghh... grrr...
it was a 6 man job
it wasn't supposed to be a 16 man job
and the British Transport Police big-duck bigger ****
energy didn't have to get involved:
it was... workable:
even one of the owners of a bar on the corner of
the crux of action came up to me and said:
you, yesterday... worked fine:
well yeah: you put fences up like that
people are going to get crushed
and you tell them some alternative travel plans
and they want to leave the bottleneck:
but you have ******* barriers in place...
sorry:
i might be on $27 an hour
but someone on... say $50 an hour did a massive
**** in my backyard and that incompetence
was so... so ******* visible...

drinking: problem?
well i don't know...
all these SOBER-ULTRAS PEACOCK(ing)
sensible real people of unreal theory
and....
a drunkard could have staggered into
that situation and said: not: gonna: work...
because there are some people:
like myself: who drink and think
and i understand that there are people
who drink and don't think...
how did the RAF fight off the amphetamine
riddled Luftwaffe?
one whiskey two whiskey:              jinn
                                                  and tickle!
chase em tails O'dog a'whisper.

next thing i know i'm blasted
and texting my stepdaughter and that's weird
because ever since i met her aged 12 and
baked her a cake for her 13th birthday
nothing has been natural rational
it's all a ******* pinata of color and sound
and hallucinations in the fluorescence

and apparently i'm so evil
so bad
that i deserve washing my hands in bleach
like i've killed someone
maybe myself
people say i'm drowning
well i'd rather be drowning than sinking
at least...
   i don't know:
but this is ******* me up:
get married to an American girl...
wait 9 months for a green card...
sure sure... great...
she's not getting any younger and i'm
literally losing my poise and pretense for
patience... wait 9 months for the LEGAL
structures...
**** me: why don't i just fly to south america
and join the bandwagon of desperation
and sneak into Hawaii on a yacht of
my own design
**** knows:
Moses and talking bushes on fire:
like vaginas with syphilis and a talking
hernia or
something from a baboon's *** like a hemorhoid:
hemarrhoid... aha! dyslexia...

of all the words i remember how to spell:
there are a few in English where
i just want to write a phonetic graffiti
simple sense of hearing it
rather than remembering the etymology and spelling it
for HAE-MO-ROID
HAE-MO-ROYDS...

                  sort of...

well yeah: stress at work... management crisis...
the motto being:
we have **** all to do so let's give the people
that already do what's to be done
more to do:
i ended up being both crowd control
and logistic moving barriers
like it was so necessary to cage animals:
forgot to cage cockroaches
ants and crickets
and cats
and forgot to cage the rats...
the shining emblem of existence that man
so... ugh...                 yeah... whatever...

so i shared two pictures of Da Vinci with R.
and i said: don't they look similar?
maybe the Mona Lisa is the young
and then she aged and became the Lady with the Ermie...
but what's staggering is
the background in the Mona Lisa painting
and the black behind the lady
and just thinking about the weight on the painter's shoulders
behind each and every icon...
of Madonna...

                   Leonardo didn't paint an icon...
but... we are talking the Catholic talk of the secular icon...
the Mona Lisa to me is the Young Mary...
the giggling Mary:
of: the Helen of Troy type of:
oh! i have a ****! let's **** up this world!
because that's not how Mary started day-tripping
oh! jeez! Elise and Edie please:
call me Eddy!
ha ha ha ha ha ah ha ha!

   well yeah: regardless of the message of Hey-Zeus-JJ
the ****** birth really ****** up the world this time:
almost and it's almost there:
like: Mary: who wants to own up to it:
who or what?
                 ****** my ****** magic sputnik junk
the violation of biological reality
crescendo with the ******* movement
and even your son said:
and those who make the male female
and the female male...

    straight out of an R. D. Laing citations before
the politics of experience opens...
i am literally living in gynocentric(?)
shiftshow
and there's no ******* salvation on the cross
no more or less than if instead
of getting circumcised...
oh wait wait...
     if we don't "need" *******...
do "you" think we need eyelids?
if we can't have the economics of pigs and
the purpose of foreskins
and personal hygiene because
the ISHRAEL folk and the camel jockeys of
Saud forgot to wash before and after
*** but remembered to wash 5 times before
their magical prayer to Blah-lah...
if we don't need foreskins...
why do we need eyelids?
why do we need ears?
or a nose...
i don't see the point...

                       o.k. **** retards... let's go:
let's slit the eyelids:
******* ******* *******: i'm gonna bash this paper
into a warplane and my words
will be bombs.

i don't want any monotheism
beyond the four letters
and the name i understand:
Y
H
                       W              H

but since the gentiles abused that name
and uttered it...
i'm looking for the name of his companion
and i know her:
she's not a direct translation of
how women give misery to this world
through Mary and Helen...
because THAT name
                                I am not...    
i need to find the posit of NEGATION in the name
supreme in monotheism:
and this name: i will find
and find it without making a whimper.