All I wanted was you  
For as long I can remember
I miss your messages, face, voice, body
The way you say my name
We spoke pretty much every day  
The silly videos you would send me while at lunch
I love & hate the effect you have over me
And continue to have over me
Part of me wishes I never met you
But a larger part wishes we could start all over again
Nobody makes me feel the way you do
In good ways & bad ways
I haven't had *** with anyone
I don't want to have *** with anyone
I'm forever emotionally unavailable now
I don't wanna get close to anyone ever again
I'm loyal to a guy who was never mine
That saw me as nothing but another knotch on his belt
You were never mine, so why does it hurt so bad
Why do you continue to haunt me
When I know you have forgotten about me completely
Why did you reach out to me after 2 exes?
Because I was familiar & you were lonely?
Unanswered questions swirling my brain continuously
I wish you would answer the questions in my mind
I wish you would reach out
A part of me wanted you to say don't go
But you didn't
We've known each other for 9 years (on & off)
I don't wanna throw that away
I'm never gonna have that with anyone ever again
Why do you talk about other chicks - to make me jealous?
You know that's what it does
Everything you did with her I wanted to do with you & more
I was never good enough for you
You were attracted to me & liked ******* me but that's it
Made myself feel so empty & used
I never judged you
Didn't care when you gained weight
Tried to deny my feelings & be your friend
I wish I could turn off my emotions
Like a vampire
I'm cold, heartless, numb now from all of this
You're beautiful, unique & rare in my eyes
I wish that was enough
But I'm never enough
Why did you wanna see me one last time before I moved?
You knew I had strong feelings for you on & off this whole time we have been in each other's lives
We shouldn't of hung out before I left
I don't regret it but it still hurts