When I was younger and it was rainy I didn't like to go outside
"Oh but it's messy
It's so cold
And I'll get soaked!!"
I thought
I was too worried about surviving to think about truly living

But every moment I get older I seem to appreciate rainy days more and more
For today when it was raining I went outside and jumped in puddles
Rubbed mud on my arms
Legs
Face
Not minding that there was dirt under my fingernails

I do not even call it messy anymore
I call it one with mother earth

The cold I once said I hated even seemed comforting for it reminded me that I was indeed alive

I wished it would rain harder
So I could be even more covered in authenticity
and so the sky could be reminded that there were some
Who loved the natural things she made
That there were some that didn't open their umbrellas to avoid her

When I was younger I didn't think about wearing shoes all that much
I wore them everyday, everywhere
I suppose I was more worried about not angering my father
Then truly living

But now I go barefoot in my backyard so I can feel the grass under my feet
So I can stand on Earth

It's so simple
"Standing on earth"
But I take so much pleasure in it
I take so much pleasure in the removing the barrier between us
Me and mother nature

I think who I am now is partly letting my survival-focused inner child out
Because she was too worried to splash around in puddles