I was there turning red like apples. I forgot how hard I hold your hands but I remember how much I didn't want to let go. It is perhaps for I have spent too much of my time reaching out from six feet under reality that buried my deepest desires. No matter how much I try to flatten up the curve across my cheek, it won't follow me. Maybe it got bored of being flat, like I got bored of breathing the life I wondered too much about.

And so I continue writing this passage in my head and repeat this to myself as if I'm in a movie. Where I'm that pathetic dying chick who found her long lost spirit. I touched your arm lightly. I swear even the earth will never be as happy as me when the sun turn her way. As I was drowning in the sadness I seed, I realized I never see into someone's eyes this deep and not feeling the urge to swim to the surface.

While your fingers scanned my waist, I grow a heart. Because my waist needs to tell your arms how much it longs for something to hold them together. As so it can love the warmth of your akin against mine.

After standing tall for all these times, I jump into the water.  I know nothing but to drown into you.

And please, don't rescue me.

I want to be lost inside the moment where I'm the mermaid. And you are the sea.