how i became a self-loathing masochistic Pole
how it wasn't because of the election
the result being
not the polaroid scrabble and i didn't hope
this nonsense would come
this paradigm of the social order
and social hierarchies
and the prisons....
marriage oh i never knew
would be such a burden and a blessing...
i'm still talking to my mother
and grandmother more than
i'm talking to my wife
and i'm actually talking to one person more
another woman
Reyla... my surrogate daughter
and that's a dream
of my writing pet peeve writing project
i am not making money from poetry
i'm a journalistic historian or something
like that i think i'm journalizing
zing zing i'm not scared of hallucinations
sometimes it's god
but mostly it's my ego-echo coming back
to me with a TY....
and i'm so negative i had to pay
more than my flight for my baggage
70 squid i flew for 40 squidges...
flood of memories but memories erased
with emotions
so the weight of emotions kills of memories
and that's how i found ontological sketches
on Martin when i visited him
and he noticed the wedding ring
and i showed him pictures of you an me and Reyla
and i still have a headache
next day i got texts from Reyla and i'm not used
to a 14 year old Platonic Love
as i err toward how Solomon had two harems...
one of women and one of demons
and each woman was wed to a demon
but now we are living in the age
of when Solomon's Mince of Vanity Harem
Matthew came home
to a small ******* town
in the middle of nowhere
and i think it was a summation of all the Psi to the power of Pi
i think... i want to dig up the Greek Letters
i'm just not used to having a 14 year old
girl in my life
when i have photographs from a Brothel
and Alter Ego Bane and Batman
but if a football hooligan
can become president of Poland
and openly sniffs carbohydrate buns
and there's Putin and Xi
and the Starmernator and
the whole Geo Political and ISlam
and i'm having fun
there's this tragedy
before the world opens up like a ****
and Kant and Heidegger's DASEIN
Poland is a DASEIN
GDANSK...
a town like London
but with only one vowel(s)
Ewa
Ewy...
Mateusz
Mateusza...
the possessive article(s)
are gendered....
Woke Envy of English
concerning the language of
my birth
***
****** and then
kissing
i mean
i have a daughter...
and a wife
so the *** is thought
and politics
and philosophy
because Reyla is Platonic
Love(er)
and i'm a Moralist
the Zeitgeist of Taboo(s)....
i only learnt that
Epsilon and Eta are twins of sound
but like Eros and Thanataos...
Huan and Chin...
Chiny...
the behavior of women is so horrid
i am walking in a storm of Medussa....
and there is just so much reality-dissonance
i feel like the twinity is not consecrates by the holy ghost
this calls for the Animnus Perfectus Psyche...
but they have different meanings
and how many twins are there in
the Greek alphabet?
HE
εη

                   ωo
        O Ω

        I am Adam: i am Alpha
I am Eva: i am Omega

           but i am not:
now the fury of men in women
and i am the Alpha in the Omega
or the Iota in the Omicron

neutral: o the key and i
in it:
beyond no door or locksmith
like St. Peter
and St. Paul
although St Paul holds the keys
to HELL...
Peter holds the keys to heaven
while Paul holds the keys to hell!

p.s. wow woah! wow!
i'm no longer in Poland
in the house of the matriarch
the killer of
my grandfather and uncle
the spinder-mantis grandmother
and i mean:
Reyla... scary ****....
i actually accused my grandmother
of murdering my grandfather
and her son
i'm being a psychiatrist now
i am being hyperbolic delusional
i am being suspicious while
holding a burning Quran
if a dream but i'm wide awake
we will use AI to
deal with humanoids
like the neither Nathanal.....
and that's me with a black cat
and Prokokiev...
       Bulghakov...
           - mein kopf! mein kopf!
learn German,
i just looked at the German translation
pigeons and woodland
pigeons
and the ugly ick
of pigeon liberal overt sexuality
and kafkas
are not female ravens
crowds

crows...        ******* Cormacs O'*****... ease: not iz
its         and it's
morelike it/y/s(')

                    i "think" and "'think'"              /yod ip t0f)

i think it's code b=a
by copiung==
coping ius = code
s-bra

             Uboats and wolves and foxes
painting
pain throughout...

first impressions of Deutzsche meshterfabrik...
mein kopf! mein kopf!
moja glowa!
my head...
first two words
i understood
not:
the syllables Ma                  M'ah...
no....
       i saw and heard the words
in my eyes
an d                  saw in my ears
sounds therefore i imagined Letters and Dragons...
so there's this game
it involves playing
with a DICTIONARY
an... ATLAS....
  DIKTUS.... the brother of Atlas...
an dictionary... an atlas..
an ENCYCLOPE?ODIA
ECLUCLOPEDIA
encyclopedia
              upper lower
house rules!
          game with Reyla...
and the game is to talk...
                      and get away from screen time
i believe the internet can be used
to replace to above "ontomatopoeia"
ontomatopeia
    ONTTOlogic<

         ONO-MA(h)-T(a//)ou(H)-p(Y)(wmuuQCSK)

we can talk and becauase
the higher self
is not a quest of *** for ***
the cogniti8ve landscape is
now measured by our capacity for
interacting with AI
or the outlet
of programmers
people created AI to soften the load
of working with computers
seriously...
it should be a massive conspiracy
how this supposed "progress"
is like the paracetamold
antibiotic of "cope"
the sickness of modernity
en masse... a bit bizarre
like May in Poland
i was there for the election
presidential,
election
learning to drive a manual car
the pope being elected
i'm just a tiny man
i need the context
of hierarchies
and time
time adores hierarchies
yet what is space
couple with that synchronizes man to it
that space borrows from the human experience
like an an intelligence...
time and space are not mediums
of measure and scrutiny
they are alien symbiosis intelligence: the Intelligent:
the responsive:
the bilingual the replica:
the symbiosis of memory and thinking
how the moment happens
and there is no memory-escapism
and how the necro
the cities of the dead become visible
and echoes stir...
                      and that's how it was
he didn't ask me to leave
like he asked my mother and his mother...
and it was more progound thanpr
profound than walking through an art gallery
and that\'s the aort of mortal art
aorta like
vitality persevere
i mean ****

                         gear seven: SZYSKA...
i would love for Poland the ****** tongue
to use some Czech shortening:
run out of ink!
enough pages...
not enough ink!
get me the blood of a crow and an octopus...
and those are?
well... find out...
i dreamnt i was living in the sea
and this wise creature
appeared
and it was magical
blue and
Spider ****** an Octopus
and why are all the Demons
like Bael
a melancholic
crowned
a spider
a cat and a toad...

can i conjure a demon of my own?
can i?
can i name him...

i'll need a moth
a cat (ugh...)
a serpent
a fox
             an ant...             a pigeon
a jackdaw
           a blackbird....

                              spider with human eyes...
i'll need a spider
a moth
a cat
a serpent
a fox....              to continue this "conversation"

this [...]
                   reverence for what is to be preserved:
like the English inherited the best of Rome
via how the roads
are operated...
no talk on directional lights
in the theory
exam in Poland
there are no question
about INDICTATORS
IN?DICATORS
INDICATORS
in Polish theory of Road /Laws...

            but pedantic about indicating practices
largely forgotten
too many ******* ROAD SIGNS
the English didn\t inherit the Roman Alphabet
simply because they didn't behave like
the other Europeans and added DIACRITICAL MARKERS
of distinction:
Orwell... Dickens... topic...
Orthography without Diacritical Markers...
discuss...