I remember the night you swore to the god you don't believe in that you didn't love me anymore.
The way your brown eyes morphed into a deep pitch black.
Blacker that our sorrowful souls combined.
I didn't think I'd ever hear those words.
But they crawled from my ears into my barely beating heart.
Stabbing every inch of it, naturally tearing it apart.
You see, we could have had it all but, the the god forsaken demons came back.
They crawled back into your mind..
and filled it like the the tears filling my small round eyes.
I almost drowned in the ocean of emotion.
You were no longer my lifeline.
And you swear you're fine.
Oh how you repeat it, that you're getting by.
I write and write every miserable thought.
My pages filling up like the darkness filled the sky as the days turned into nights.
Woe is me, woe is me.
I repeat those words so miserably.
The thoughts of losing the only thing I had choked me.
The thoughts wrapped their evil around my neck.
But the noose I'm making is going to be a lot tighter.
As my love grew deeper, my heart grew lighter.
Losing feeling, losing it's rhythm.
I wrote and wrote until I ran out of ink.
Now I'll make my way to the bathroom sink.
I'll peck and scratch at my skin.
I'll peck and scratch at the thoughts that I think.
My black ballpoint pen became my red ballpoint pen.
And I now continue to write again.
Eventually I'll run out of pages.
Oh my soft tan skin will make a beautiful canvas.
I ask and ask if you're absolutely certain that you don't need me.
And the answer remains the same.
You don't need me.
You don't need this.
So I scrapped together every memory, every kiss.
Oh the sweet bliss of pretending they stayed in place.
My love.
But the thing is, you're not mine.
Love.