Nov 2013
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a veterinarian in Australia.
It wasn't long until I realized I was horrible at science.
Then, I wanted to be a ballerina and twirl around just like the girl in my music box.
I then discovered that gravity had too much of a pull on me. The only twirling I did was face first towards the ground.
So what would my new dream be?
A carpenter?
A garbage person?
...a baker?
An actor? Yes. An actor.
...
Someone once told me, "if you have a fall back plan, you'll always fall back on it."
But I'm starting to believe what they said is true.
...
Your dreams are what you use to tuck yourself in at night after you've spent your entire day living in "the real world" surrounded by people who have lost the ability to dream.
...
But it's hard to know which dreams are yours when everyone is telling you what you should be.
...
Someone whispering, "you'll be unhappy. You only think this is what you want. Be a doctor. Or be a lawyer."
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if I don't?
...
I started caring more about how many figures I would make a year and less about how many sounds I could put in my times step.
More about what would make me more marketable to be hired and less about How much of my vocal range I could showcase in 16 bars.
These are the dreams I have lost.
These are the dreams I have traded.
I have traded my dandelion wishes and my butterfly kisses for nothing more than a nine to five job.
And I have traded my wish upon a star and my Neverland for a house in the suburbs where everyone shares the same dream.
I became so consumed with fitting myself into this box that I forgot how big the box could be.
It doesn't matter WHAT you're supposed to be. It matters who you were MEANT to be.
...
When I was this high...
I no longer had a star in my night sky to wish upon.
I no longer had a million dandelion wishes.
Only a million weeds.
....
Someone once told me, "if you have a fall back plan..."
I won't trade my fairytales, childhood wishes, butterfly kisses, and dreams for everything else.
I will trade everything else for the chance to dream.
It wasn't long until I realized I was horrible at science.
Then, I wanted to be a ballerina and twirl around just like the girl in my music box.
I then discovered that gravity had too much of a pull on me. The only twirling I did was face first towards the ground.
So what would my new dream be?
A carpenter?
A garbage person?
...a baker?
An actor? Yes. An actor.
...
Someone once told me, "if you have a fall back plan, you'll always fall back on it."
But I'm starting to believe what they said is true.
...
Your dreams are what you use to tuck yourself in at night after you've spent your entire day living in "the real world" surrounded by people who have lost the ability to dream.
...
But it's hard to know which dreams are yours when everyone is telling you what you should be.
...
Someone whispering, "you'll be unhappy. You only think this is what you want. Be a doctor. Or be a lawyer."
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if I don't?
...
I started caring more about how many figures I would make a year and less about how many sounds I could put in my times step.
More about what would make me more marketable to be hired and less about How much of my vocal range I could showcase in 16 bars.
These are the dreams I have lost.
These are the dreams I have traded.
I have traded my dandelion wishes and my butterfly kisses for nothing more than a nine to five job.
And I have traded my wish upon a star and my Neverland for a house in the suburbs where everyone shares the same dream.
I became so consumed with fitting myself into this box that I forgot how big the box could be.
It doesn't matter WHAT you're supposed to be. It matters who you were MEANT to be.
...
When I was this high...
I no longer had a star in my night sky to wish upon.
I no longer had a million dandelion wishes.
Only a million weeds.
....
Someone once told me, "if you have a fall back plan..."
I won't trade my fairytales, childhood wishes, butterfly kisses, and dreams for everything else.
I will trade everything else for the chance to dream.
