don’t say you love me
please, it’s all that i ask of you
i am selfish, i am cruel
and i hurt those i hold dear
i hurt myself and get scared when i open up
although
with you, i am not scared to open up…
but one day
if i get angry
and say something i don’t mean
you will not see me the same
i am the oldest daughter
i will get angry, my darling, so do not tell me i will not
that i won’t scare you away
don’t say you love me
in fact, don’t even act like you do
i can’t understand how you can just stand there
quietly smiling
and let me ramble about everything that has mildly affected me
in the past two years…
you told me that i could talk about whatever i wanted to
that i could let it all out
and i almost cried.
because those words showed me that you cared.
and i’m forever thankful that you do
but i still mean it when i tell you
don’t say that you love me
because i know one day that i will do something wrong
and if i can avoid hurting you, it would be everything to me.
for i could stand here for hours
and list the reasons why you should not tell me that you love me
but yet i sit here
and i love you.
this is how
i am selfish
and i am cruel.
and my sweet
i hold you dear.