Sometimes I still feel sick Like I'm right back where I was Where I cried myself to steep Constant urges That one thought that turned to many The visions of past times That vision of me still here Buried deep so I forget The thing is you don’t forget It will forever be a part of me The old immediate coping skill Hurt or die It will make you feel better The pain stops I said Those thoughts were never true The brain hitting panic mode Sad thing is it worked Only for a moment though After you were scared Felt the regret, guilt and anger Now you know better Though it still comes back That urge for control Something you can fix They say it’s not worth it We all know But the pain felt good They didn’t see But I know today This isn’t me