I’m Sorry for the Storms (Now I See)

I never meant to bring you pain,
Or leave you standing in the rain.
But battles raged inside of me,
Fought in silence—PTSD.

The scars I carried, deep and wide,
Became the things I couldn’t hide.
And in the chaos, love got lost—
You paid the price, you took the cost.

I shut you out when you reached in,
Not knowing where to even begin.
I didn’t deal with all the weight,
And let the damage complicate.

But I’ve been facing what I feared,
With help from those who see things clear.
The professionals, the work, the time—
They’ve helped me climb out from the grime.

I see life now through steadier eyes,
Past all the pain, beneath the lies.
I see the good, the things I missed—
The warmth in your touch, the love in your kiss.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man
Who stood up strong, who calmly ran
To meet you where you needed me—
I wish I’d fought more fearlessly.

Still, every flower that I gave
Was born from love I couldn’t save.
Thousands bloomed from something true—
My heart was always full of you.

And I would give my life, still now,
For you and him—I made that vow.
I wasn’t perfect, but I tried,
And though it hurt, I didn’t deny.

If time could turn, if hearts could mend,
If grace could let old wounds transcend—
Just know I’m here, and heart sincere.
With open hands and vision clear.

© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.