I put pants on over my PJs
Fill up my flask
With *****
And put a hat on over my three day ***** hair
Because I don't want to be home when anyone else gets back to the apartment
I started texting people I haven't spoken to in years
Because I miss them and because I miss me
Back when I knew them better
I'm starting to show
And I know that the worst thing about showing is when people start to notice
And their eyes change
And they are suddenly so careful around you that you could cry
So I have to get out before they get back
I write only to keep myself from myself
As If I could transfer me to a page
I only clean half the apartment
I leave things unfinished
Because I'm scared to
Put everything away
As if I were putting
My spoons in a grave