This smell,
It’s intoxicating

This song,
It’s painful

It’s takes me back to the times where the air felt sweet
When my heart pounded with excitement and hope
When the fight I went through everyday—

Led to hours of peace
Led to times where it was just me and you against the world—
Led to times when I could look forward with strength and excitement
Led to times where the wind flowed into my face and filled me with joy

If I could have those moments back,
When I felt like I could be okay
When the fog felt lighter than I could ever imagine now—

Why, those memories feel like a dream

I think I was living a dream,

My dream

I can’t believe it was real

Maybe I imagined it all

But to feel that way…..
Then have it taken away—


That may be the worst thing I’ve ever felt

The dread

The despair

And worst of all,


The hope,


That maybe—

Just maybe—



I would get it back.