i know i’ve made you cry
and that i’ve made you bleed
my experience so big
monsters i tend to feed
sorrys were so frequent
their meaning we both faded
emotions getting blurred
insecurities were aided
your attention like a drug
i used to fill the pit
i did not ask you permission,
anxious to take a hit
i thought i was curing the void
dumping texts and calls right in
comfortable in my obsessive ways,
too possessive of my grin.
“I can’t be with you right now”
i could not comprehend
something good is good, no?
why would you want it to end?
the hurt i blamed on you
outsourced it for rejection
but in reality
of my pain it was a projection
the withdrawal it did hurt bad
the symptoms numbed my will
tried anger and blame to cope
just couldn't swallow the pill
myself in your shoes
i did not try to picture
too much in my head
following my own scripture
i was oblivious to the effects
i figured it was just ‘life’
the very past i looked at fondly
was what helped you hold the knife
i feel sorry for us both
brains we cannot cleanse
but i hope when you remember me and us
it’s through a kinder lens