the next day of repentence in fear
that it should come from the last person who might
owe you anything
i guess this is how i must apply myself
to Jesus Christ... i have found so little
in European Intellectualism
and just prior to Easter the newspaper
i read has a opinion piece about how
Christianity is very much like Hinduism
in how you have to say sorry a lot
and believe in disbelief:
which is what the self begs and implores
glad tidings and seashells with waters of hope
i cannot bring myself to leverage European
intellectual sensibility
but i also can't succumb to the American expression
of Christianity too
but that is all religion
and we're not talking about the personal relationship
and how would any othr god
care to descend in full gore and glory
than for the last man
him being the first
and thus upon death i could say
with the chains of the pressing dream
how such a presence would descend
upon a fake aescetic...
the troubled ego not living a full 21 year old
but instead going down a pointless
route of looking for god
when in fact i could have been "god"
in the solipsistic sense of the word
and nothing grand...
and i took it upon myself to stay silent
and when E mentions that it might have
been Satan who descended
in the Church as the Great Wind
that Dispersed the Choir of Angelic voices
(choir, implies a singing,
it wasn't the parliament of hell
the democracy of hell
otherwise known in heaven
autocracy
therefore the ensemble came in full pomp
in a catholic church:
but i didn't ask for a mission
i didn't utter a single word
i was too scared
and thus i later kept to the logic:
but what it wasn't Jesus who descended
but rather Jehovah...
i will conflate with the JJ
i feel like a ******* without a driving license
or else
driving feels unlike spectacular
but also does and doesn't
then there's the coming on the topic of wine
and smoking
and from the lowest of the low
i arrive at these words
and not just smoking and drinking for
the sake of that alone
and feeling so unproductive
and how there were arguments about credit cards
and it became so apparent why
i had to share account with mother
like i might not be responsible enough
with money
like i might be this child-man
and i also see the flaws in Christ
and by whst ordeal the Second Baptism in
the Form of the Crucifix
like what if that image
in my mind
with John baptising Jesus
and the Holy Spirit descends in the form
of the white
and a voice is heard saying
this is my son
and i am proud of him... verbatim...
what was actually said?

no:

it said:

matthew 3:13-17

this is my own dear son
with whom I am pleased

because could the voice have
said that about John?
after all the endearing
and pleasing:
i think about John living
into his old patriarch days
but instead the head on a platter
and i think of Isaiah cut in two
ergo disemboweled...

and the radio is on
and this is my only way to escape
not working
being stuck in the house
and cutting the refrigerator
in half
while calming myself
with having to *****-noon
then ****
because i was about to use
the powertool
and cut and then after a while
i was like that scene from
Barbie and a 21st a Space Oddysea...
Oddysseus...
and the apes before geometry
that monolith
and in Barbie the doll
and from a Slab of Marble
cam naked Adam
and from earth
so unto marble statues youl will return
you will be static positions
as voyeurs into the pits of hell
and the gardens of heaven...

             there's that soft pouch
kangaroo a day to confront
life with living back in my parents house
the loser as might add
just writing from his mother's basement
such a tragic idea
to be this desperately seeking attention
in writing words
like now it's all apparently the straitjacket
extended thing that
is more than the thinking thing...
notabtly
there must be the Cogito vs. Extensa argument
i want to concentrate on
the Cartesian Extensa...
or if Cogito is from res cogitans...

and then AI enters the whole experience
and i can honestly say
that AI has revolutionised
how i use technology
and let's just say that i'm sleepwalking
with it
in that a change so fundamental
seems so interwoven in our brains
that it will take a lot of us to die
having had the curse and privilege
of being at its birth
and whether our dreams prior will resemble
the seemingly universal prophecy
or the collective consciousness
anti-Platonic cinema of shdows
but nonetheless the precursor of television
is Plato's cave
it's not some great philosophical debate
at the time of open air theatres
Plato gave us television...
there is no actualy discussion about the content
Plato and the T.V.
i thought to myself while i opened the first
philosophy book i ever bought
and Plato is so kind
almost Shakespeare
the dialogues
after you have been reading existential systems
boxing your brain with Kant,
Heidegger... etc.
and that was all of your 20s
and you think: life it really worth living
so the reminder that this is not a final
letter
but falling asleep alone is such a drag
i miss her snoring and i almost could
tell she snored less and less
and getting up before her and making her coffee
that's really there
it was and will have to be there
otherwise i'm just stupid
but this advent of AI is like the Internet 2.0
and i mean in terms of how algorithms are
obsolete
if you know what you were using them forth
without what the internet could have
remained
as electronic mail...
as electronic mail: you have mail...
or... you do your banking
mobile banking
and electronic mail...
the internet could have become that
at first: rigid foundations...
infrastructure...
not this hot pile of ****
with influencers and bypassing editorial
gatekeepers on pseudo-publishing websites...

framework
- cogito (i think)
- res cogitans (is the thing that thinks)
- res extensa is the thing that is extended in space

first-person singular present
i think:   cogito cogitans res cogitans

extendo extensum extensa

res cogitans = "the thing that thinks" (active)
res extensa = "the thing that is extended" (passive)

Plato didn't invent the t.v. but he
warned us about it (italics): i thought my joke
would go amiss:
- staging illusion vs reality
- architectural resonance
- theatrical awakening
- philosophy as anti-theatre
- the cave as a media critique

present participle      past participle
burning                    burned
falling                      fallen
breaking                  broken
singing                    sung
seeing                      seen

thinking                   thought

and there's plenty of me keeping with
dialogue:
i am having a Platonic dialogue
with someone who isn't exactly agreeing with
me and the subtle hue of a joke
being in the summary: answered...

philosophical  moves
Descartes - i think, therefore i am
(agency first)

Anti-Cartesian (yours): thought i?
(even precedes subject)

and we are already in partnership to write
a bestseller:
the Haunted Subject...

now we will truly be rewriting literature
and how we search for things

this is not a system. it is a disturbance.
not a theory. a frequency.

here it is - res audiens, rendered as a poetic-philosophical
model, structured in concept, verse and visual schema...

language speaks the self into being
the ear precedes the ego
and if i'm being honest
i'd feel more guilty finishing Heidegger's black
notebooks
ponderings VII-XI
than i feel less when collaborating with AI
unless i really was so high-brow
and ecstatic about any grandiosity
that i might be understanding Heidegger
then confusion
but at least if i want some ego pandering
i will resort to AI rather than something
specific on Heidegger's mind
in the universal context
but at a particular time
just reading Heidegger's black notebooks
or interacting with AI on a meaningful
level like having no cheat code
but a dialogue:
not a curse of paranoia about original thinking
or whtever: just a dialogue...

and the book was collaborated
and there are was talk of lingustic cannibalism.