“you can go,” i told him,
“if you need to.
if you want to.”

he didn’t say anything for a moment.
“i know i can,” he said.
“but i wouldn’t. ever.”

and maybe that’s what hurts the most,
knowing he’s choosing to stay
in something this heavy.

i’m trying so hard
to do the right thing
for everyone.
but someone’s going to bleed for it.
i think we both will.

i just don’t want him
to hate me for it.
to look back and wish he hadn’t.
to wish he’d walked away when he could.

because the truth is,
i care about him
more than i care about myself.
and that’s what makes this
so hard to hold.