Hours passed,
Turning into days,
Then to months,
Until it had been almost a year

I still remember
The days of sleeping on the couch
Haunted by my bed
My outlet
My tv

I thought that night would never end
The morning felt like a typical colorful day
We were talking about random things
You complained about your allergies
But then
In one snap
Everything darkened

I can’t remember the exact amount of time
Could be 7 hours 32 minutes and around forty two estimated seconds
I spent awake on the couch
Staring at the wall
Thinking of us
Or what used to be us
Probably what could’ve been us


And soon came a long era
Of lying to myself to create brightness
Of emotions I couldn’t contain
Thoughts that triggered me
Until it almost consumed me
And I was back in school
Surrounded by you

God I prayed that I would be around you
Even though I knew nothing would happen
I’d fight my best friend over standing next to you in the stands
But I’m glad I won every time

I know the story is you hurt me in the fall
But in truth,
You opened my heart back up
And although you took the hits from that
It made the inevitable make sense
If something is impossible,
And makes sense,
What you’ve got is something
And that’s not to give up on

I’ve always seeked approval from you
Wanting you to see me as something to keep
Or to obtain
Life just doesnt work that way though
I can’t make you want me
Which is why the inevitability is my second greatest ally
The first would be you