“I’m trying,”
I whimper to you,
Tears streaming down my face.
They collect on my chin,
Dripping into my hands.
“I know,”
You’ll always reassure me,
Gentle,
Calm,
Attempting to stop my panicked breaths
With your voice.
All the moments when the flames consume me,
Or the ocean learns I cannot swim,
You’re my anchor.
My safety.
“You’re trying more than enough.”

I pretend to melt,
To ease into those words,
Because when not burning or drowning,
I savor them.
I savor when you call me perfect and gorgeous,
Because I don’t know when I will hear it again.
I pretend not to hurt,
Because I need to hear you say those things,
Selfish as it may sound.
But the flames are consuming all of me,
Water filling my lungs.
So
“I’m trying,”
Is what I tell you,
And oh,
I wish it were enough.