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Purge

Purge.

I purge myself of the fat I girl I was and

Hope to be no more

Purge.

I purge myself of the carbs I just devoured

Longing to see a lesser number on a scale.

Purge.

I purge myself of all the “I would never do that” comments

Of a girl with a good head on her shoulders.

Purge.

I purge myself to be the ideal girl

With the hourglass figure.

Purge.

I purge myself of all the warnings I’ve heard

Knowing that I’m destroying my interior

Hoping to have the ideal exterior

Purge.

I purge myself of my meals,

But in reality I’m ridding myself of guilt

Purge.

I purge myself of the fat girl I used to be

In hopes of being the girl, the world wants to see.

Purge.

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j
Written by
jemel
Published
Nov 1, 2013
Lines·Words
23·133
Notes

I wrote this march of 2012 and I just stumbled upon it today. It was a dark time where i really struggled with my identity though I was at my slimmest and throwing up didn't seem like a big deal, but now I see that it was much more than the food and I thank God that I was able to capture those subconscious thoughts and put them on paper and reveal just how destructive those thoughts and actions can be

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