Nov 2013
Purge.
I purge myself of the fat I girl I was and
Hope to be no more
Purge.
I purge myself of the carbs I just devoured
Longing to see a lesser number on a scale.
Purge.
I purge myself of all the “I would never do that” comments
Of a girl with a good head on her shoulders.
Purge.
I purge myself to be the ideal girl
With the hourglass figure.
Purge.
I purge myself of all the warnings I’ve heard
Knowing that I’m destroying my interior
Hoping to have the ideal exterior
Purge.
I purge myself of my meals,
But in reality I’m ridding myself of guilt
Purge.
I purge myself of the fat girl I used to be
In hopes of being the girl, the world wants to see.
Purge.
I purge myself of the fat I girl I was and
Hope to be no more
Purge.
I purge myself of the carbs I just devoured
Longing to see a lesser number on a scale.
Purge.
I purge myself of all the “I would never do that” comments
Of a girl with a good head on her shoulders.
Purge.
I purge myself to be the ideal girl
With the hourglass figure.
Purge.
I purge myself of all the warnings I’ve heard
Knowing that I’m destroying my interior
Hoping to have the ideal exterior
Purge.
I purge myself of my meals,
But in reality I’m ridding myself of guilt
Purge.
I purge myself of the fat girl I used to be
In hopes of being the girl, the world wants to see.
Purge.
I wrote this march of 2012 and I just stumbled upon it today. It was a dark time where i really struggled with my identity though I was at my slimmest and throwing up didn't seem like a big deal, but now I see that it was much more than the food and I thank God that I was able to capture those subconscious thoughts and put them on paper and reveal just how destructive those thoughts and actions can be
