There is a bottle with my emotions
It’s somewhere here
But I seem to have misplaced it
Forgotten about it until now

It was so easy
To just not do anything
To just be numb
To just pretend I wasn’t there

Everything I felt
I put in that bottle
Too afraid to face my emotions
It was too easy to be busy

Too busy to feel
Too busy to think
Too busy to live
The only thing that was resting was my body

I had no choice
But to slow down
My body forced me to
It couldn’t go on

It was a constant downward spiral
It made me afraid
Which is why I didn’t allow myself to feel anything
Because I am afraid of going back to that place

Now my body feels better
But my mind is a mess
Too numb to feel the things I felt
Too awake to let myself become distracted again

It’s this weird in between
It feels like the wall between me and the world is back up
The wall I thought I had torn down
The wall that is an illusion of protection

It’s back
And all it does is making me feel numb
Too numb to feel anything
Numb, numb, numb…