don't you want me?* isn't that what you wrote?
the very same day you stuck your tongue down my throat?
no i don't want you. i thought in my head
but the look on your face made me freeze with dread
i was too scared to speak, let alone write
so i left the page blank, i left the page white
your pick-up lines sounded more like threats
not running away will forever be my biggest regret
and you mistook my silence for an invitation
it was my body on which you took out your frustrations

no.

i struggled against you, scared and alone
thoughts of your intentions chilled me to the bone
i shivered and cried and i wanted to scream
my fragile mind was falling apart at the seams
as much as i sobbed and called out for help
it seemed no one heard any of my yells
and you drove me to silence with one cruel look
and i shut my mouth while i wept and i shook
you left me ravaged and broken and as good as dead
but still i picked up the pieces and only looked straight ahead

no.

when i stumbled home late in the night
my parents exclaimed that i had filled them with fright
do you know what could have happened? was the question they asked
and god knows that i did, but i didn't feel like being harassed
so i kept myself quiet and let my light fade away
everywhere i went i felt like some predator's prey
i couldn't feel safe no matter where i went
until the day i learned that i wasn't broken; i was just bent
i learned to be tough by forcing myself to move on
i looked my reflection in the eye and told myself to be strong
i slowly but surely got past my constant state of woe
my only regret is not saying *no.