My instincts are mostly gamble

They work with me
I work against them

They are not self depriving

But the truth that I cannot see

I want a trait so badly
I ignored the warnings

They did tell me it wasn't mine
Never going to be

But I was desperate
I hoped ,prayed even that I'm right

That I deserve salvation
Even if its for Splitting seconds

To feel the magic I thought I deserve

In the end I'm mostly apologetic
For not listening

I hope for my sanity I remember this
Before taking the next leap