Everyday is a battle and most days I am losing
This pill, that pill, which mood am I choosing
Ha, but if only I was truly in control like that
My brain, like a peak under the Mad Hatter's hat
Only remembering the hypomanic states
Looking back, reading old entries to realize most of the time was gray
A rollercoaster ride for which I cannot part
The reason, the escape, for running and art
But the saddest part is the deep markings of childhood trauma is what's to blame
Causing me this whiplash of feelings for which I will never tame