I want to rip the flesh off of my skin
there's a need to burn the love
that is left lingering in my heart.
I have gone mad.
The percentage of oxygen is going down.
I'm inhaling dejection and I can not let myself exhale.
I've flooded my sheets with tears.
The hallways mimic the sounds of my despair.
I want to dive my hands into my chest
and give my heart a fatal hug.
I wish I could pull the strands of nostalgia out of my brain
from my ear.
If only I could tell my 13 year old self
"love will ruin you, especially in the ways you were not taught"
I thought love was my parents tucking me in bed at when I was 4
or my sister taking me to school every morning
nobody told me it's the universe's biggest set up.
That I am locked in a cage and I'll be 24
still wondering if your eyes look the same
still wondering if your heart still sings the same song as mine.
I wish the love I have for you had conditions.
Rules, regulations.
All I can do is kiss my skin in ways you couldn't.
And put out the fire that burns inside of me.
I have to learn how to breathe all over again.
The rest of my tears seal up the end of this love letter.
I close my eyes and let my head dump everything out.
In the morning I hope it stays empty.