beyond nihilism: some masculine mantra:
i don't want to write
i want to paint
but if all i'll paint is colour of wonky
geometry
i rather think about drinking the minimum:
bear: minimum:
waking up from Hibernation...
Bear Hyperbolic Hibernian...
          i feel like communicating
in not so much the pedantic medium
of spelling
being prosthetic upright
ghost limp limbs
and the 20th century psychology schematic
of the operating table:
cubism is bad bad geometry
and colour
there are these two words:
colour and geometry
not pareidolia and the horrors
of tongue playing centipede
from the **** up to the mouth
like the book of Enoch and ******...
Jesus was an abomination
he was
see what happenened to the Norse God
Odin: he became a drag Queen
monty python
pink lipstick transvestite
but over England
unlike the continent:
crows have a "society"
during the day the fly over England
as Thought and Memory...

CAT = PILLOW

i feel old
i don't want to drink
i only drank today
because i missed my schizophrenic
twin shadow brother
a Mateusz for a Mattew
i am old i feel old
i want to be sober
and hear that "annoying":
SWEETIE PIE
i want to be sober mad
with love
than drunk mad with
myself...
i need her for the touch
i drink again
because touch is numb
and i can go cold turkey, baby...

5 days in heaven-and-hell...
good what is
and evil what isn't...
but evil is what is
and good is potentially:
morph-hope...
Soya milk... leaves
a scent in my nose
like honing in on
the proper intellectual *****
she will prescribe me vitamins
and minerals
take me off a wheat diet
and take me off the dairy diet
because of her i learned
that i was lactose intollerant

i sleep walk around Reyla's bed
i lie naked beside it
but you have invaded my personal space
i have two women
sleeping next to my library:
Reyla replied: what library? what books?
what books?! didn't you see them!
that's not wallpaper in Roblox!
ugh... ******* inside out 2 was ****...
i tried to snorkel down my tears
and i tried not to c ry when
watching inside out - the original...

getting married on March, the 14th...
two months shy of my Birthday
Grandmother's birthday JAnuary
mother's birthday
February
Marriage in MArch
Father's birthday 2nd April
My birthday 15th May and Old Joseph's
birthday went fishing
ol' Brautigan Tokyo Swiftie goes
shorty trout fishing h'americana
but the Turtles of Polynesia...

take out the garbage by 3pm....
two ***** bottles are not white rabbits
out of a top hat trick:
or accent...
  
problem though... paid #780 for the ticket
waited less than an hour
for an ETSA visa confirmation
but my problem is...
booked three ******* holidays!
i booked three ******* holidays!
like my youthful self
my university self
taking weekened holidays alone in
cities from PAris to Stockholm because
Athens was special...
me mad...

from the 28th February to some March...
2 layovers...
13h in night in San Francisco....
and a morning and afternoon
13h in New York...
but i'm bypassing the mainland
i'm heading down the Rambo Rimbau route
with the savages like blanched cabbages

salt water, sea, walt, salt, dunkin' dough in nuts:
maybe Picasso because that's called
the unravelling dream
the image unlike Narcissus' Period:
perfecting exactness
working from a Mongolian blink
innunedo
the high eye the sleepy eye
the all knowing not i
and the lemon ju ju...

                               ha                                     ha!