I wish...

I wish I would have loved before you.

So I knew my faults;
My weakness;
So I could fail;
Fall to my knees on black soot;
Without burning you;
Without losing you.
Rise without the shame;
Without the Sun permanently eclipsed;
Pyrography burned into my brain.

I wish that I had tried before you;

So I could pinpoint when you became my fire;
A thousand currents rise with embers gone cold;
Where you live inside my heart.
So I could relate this white hot feeling in my bones.
Before that fire burned me to pink ash.
Alongside everything around.

I wish that I had known the taste of other's lips;

So that I could explain, in detail, why yours are better.
So I could compare sour liquor,
To your ambrosia;
So I could catalogue the feeling of Stars versus flares;
A drunken fool wielding eternal flame.
So I could softly fan the flames of our love;
Before they burned out of my control.


I wish that I had failed before you;

So I didn't fail in my finest hour.
So I knew the right choice;
By the color your voice;
And the mistakes of my past;
The darkened abyss without you;
The eclipsed future after you.
So my red hot instincts could be cooled;
Guided;
By the blue thoughts of failure.
The green experience...
Colors my past;
Sickly seawater;
In it, your face reflected like cherry blossoms,
The edge of white,
And rose colored glass.

I wish.
I wish,
I wish.
I wish....

To see you just one more time;

And then,

My wish wouldn't change;

One more wish;

One more time.

Bring the Sun back to grey skies.

I burn for you still;

Amongst these rosy ashes.