No one will ever know the mass of this dark hole
How much it's grown
How hungry it's  stomach growls
To feed off my regrets

No one will ever feel
The sorrows that cradle me
When I'm alone
When I have no one to talk to

She will never know
How heavy this large stone is
The one I carry despite all my apologies

He will never know
How much I really loved him
Despite how much he hurt me

And all this silenced pain I swallowed without a sound

They will never know
All I've ever known is how to do things the 'wrong way' and no one ever said "NO"  to me.. enough for me to stop

She will never know
That as I was raising her with love
I was still a child trying to learn
To give her the love I never knew

He will never know
How fiercely I defended him
How I was blamed for his death
And how the survivor's guilt of not being there has eaten me away

They will never know the hole that's deep within me
The one I filled with angst, violence and self destruction

No one will ever know the void that is now me
The hole that I so easily fill with smiles that tricks you into thinking that I'm fine