this is really hard to talk about.

i think there’s something
wrong
with me.

i’m afraid to be intimate with him.

the smell of his cologne
makes me
nauseous
because it reminds me
of things i’m ashamed of.  

most of my
innocence
is still intact.

but that doesn’t mean
that one day i won’t be
strong
enough to say
no.

but i love him.