If you need a friend, don't call me,
I'm awkward around people, I know and don't, you see.
I'm anti-social by choice, not by fate,
Flat broke, but I'll play indoor games to participate.

When you're sad and heartbroken, my presence might worsen the pain,
"Do you want some juice?" is all I can offer, feeling helpless and vain.
I'm bad at this, I confess.
You already knew that.

If you need a companion, forget me, please,
Don't message or call; I'm not the one to ease.
I'm in my mother's village, but my lazy body's stuck to the sofa,
Scrolling through my phone, wasting time instead, more bliss than repeated heartbreaks.

If you need a lover, go to the bar,
Ignore Ed Sheeran; he doesn't know who you are.
I'm a bad lover; I mess things up, it's true,
But if you need a stoner, I'm just one call away, boo.

Don't worry 'bout food; I got you covered,
I'm a chef when I'm buzzed.
I'm a lover when I'm ******, and a friend when I'm high, uncovered.
I'm a *** warrior on my third joint, they say,
But I can never be your companion; I'm just a stoner, okay?
Not a ******.

I'll steal your cat at night, and your ****, too,
And don't forget those brownies; they taste better with fruit juice, give it a try.
True be told, I hate your third leg,
I prefer them flat.
Are you familiar with scissors?
I don't think so, what a disappointment.
#Marixbell
#poetrycommunity
#poetry