I know it isn’t my fault
Genetically I shouldn’t be here
But now that it’s apparent
That my body isn’t
Capable of its sole purpose
The weight of that sinks me
I will never know
What it is like to be
Carrying someone inside
Or feeling the kick
Or nursing its body
I will never experience
True motherhood
I can replicate the feeling
But I will never have it
Why can’t I do
The one thing I’m meant to
I sit here in grief
Of all the babies
I’ll never have.
I bring joy to others
That experience it
But I silently feel
My own emptiness.