I want to find a black pebble
flat and smooth
like the one you gave me
years ago
when sirens were screaming
in my mind

I have no luck,
there is not a lot of it
about lately

I try to find closure
in the ocean,
knowing that if I write your
name in the sand
the tide will wash it
(wash you)
away

but I can’t bring myself to
pick up a knotted stick
and form those letters,
it’s as if I’ve momentarily forgotten
the alphabet
that you taught me in Spain

I don’t think there is closure
I don’t think it’s as simple as
drawing a line in the sand