Please dont blame blame me for everything that has goes wrong.

I am really doing the best I can.

I asked for help.

I have been ignored  and rejected many times before.

Feel there is very little care in the world any more.

I had a random  moment in my life where I decided you know what I will just let things go

I decided that I will just have to learn to  deal with my mental issues mostly on my own.

It honestly did feel like a crime to even ask for help any more.

All you get is harsh judgments and threats for even thinking of going down this very slippery road.

I felt like in the end  giving up on the idea of asking for any more help and that this must be the best way to go.

Doing this in the end has obviously made things a lot worse.

When I finally asked for help yet again.

I  did do the right thing but I reacted a little too late.

I got the  finger pointed at me yet again.

I was  blamed for everything going wrong when you know and every one knows this and can see that I've tried so many times before to ask for help.

No action  promised to me was ever  completed  when I told you things about what was going on in my life some things were not even properly recorded.

I just feel its all broken, empty promises and words to make me feel there is still light and there is still hope in the world and maybe that something can be done to fix my problems
well maybe one day that's what we can all hope and dream will happen.  

Words seriously don't mean that much any more.

They just fly right from my ears to my head and then  right back out into the sky.

All I get is an there, there things will be okay  then I hear the real true words say to me that you will have to wait and hold on for another
year before anything can be really be done.

I guess I have to hold on tight  
and keep  sailing and pushing through this feeling alone.

It has been really frustrating at times waiting for such a long  time just to get the right support in place.

All I honestly need in my life is help from the right  people  who do care and want me to get better.

Not keep on  hearing the same old broken promises, dreams and words over and over.