Please dont blame blame me for everything that has ever gone wrong in my life.

I am really doing the absolute
best I can for both me and my daughter.

I asked for medical and mental health  help.

I have been ignored  and rejected so many times before.

Feel there is very little care in this world any more.

I had a random  moment in my life where I decided you know what I will give up asking and just let every thing go in its own course.

I decided that I will just have to learn to  deal with my mental issues mostly on my own.

It honestly just felt like a crime to even ask for help any more.

All you get is harsh judgments and threats for even thinking of going down the very slippery road.

I just felt like in the end  giving up on the idea of asking for any more help and that this must be the best way to go.

Doing this in the end has obviously made my life a lot worse.

When I finally asked for medical help yet again.

I  did do the right thing but I was told that I had reacted a little too late.

I got the  finger pointed at me yet again.

I was  blamed for everything going wrong when you know and every one else knows this and you can all see for your self that I've tried so many times before to ask for help and got no where with having any support.

No action  promised to me was ever  completed  and when I told you things about what was going on in my life some things were not even properly recorded.

I just feel its all broken, empty promises and words to me to make me feel there is still light and there is still hope in the world.

The broken promise that maybe something can be done to fix my problems one day but it will probably wont be happening any time soon and that's all I can truely hope, pray and dream will happen.  

These words are empty they seriously don't mean that much to me any more.

They just fly right from my ears to my head and then  right back out into the sky.

All I get is there, there things will be okay  then I hear the real true words in the empty sky say to me that you will have to wait and hold on tight for another
year before anything can be really be done and that I have to keep  sailing and pushing through this tidal wave of life alone.

It has been really frustrating at times waiting for such a long  time just to get the right support in place.

All I honestly need in my life is help from the right  people  who truely do care and want me to get better.

Not keep on  hearing the same old broken promises, dreams and words over and over.